


listen before i go

by PerpetuallyCrying (WithoutForesight)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Depression, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, implied suicide, not graphic, nothing technically actually happens besides inner thoughts, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithoutForesight/pseuds/PerpetuallyCrying
Summary: Vent piece inspired by the Billie Eilish song.Surface life is supposed to be happy.  It’s supposed to be opportunity.  It’s supposed to be...something that isn’t this.
Kudos: 3





	listen before i go

**Author's Note:**

> “Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “I am falling to the floor crying,” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it — you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realise you didn’t paint it very well.” - Richard Siken

It was a long way down.

Looking now, it seemed further away than it had before.The distance seemed to grow every time he looked back to it.

The ground.

Up here, the air was thinner, cooler, the breeze pushing against him, enough to make him shiver.

It felt nice.

He wondered, briefly, if he’d become acclimated to the cold, finding comfort in it, reminiscent of home.Wondered if he truly craved warmth or just something different.

Different was hard.

Harder than he’d anticipated.So much time spent- so much time  _wasted_ on change.

It was dizzying.

The skull on his shoulders felt light, like it might float away.Watching the distant ground, the only thing he found himself capable of thinking about was a quote.

Not his family.

Not his brother.Not their friends.Not his friends. ~~ Not him ~~ .Not everyone they’d come to know in the hurricane the past few years had become.

But a quote.

Something about something you love being taken away and falling to the floor crying, but the only thing you can think about it how the paint chips along the seam between the wall and the floor.Or something to that effect.

Was it the same?

Coming up here, after leaving a note, with a plan in mind.Instead of all the things that had pushed him to this point, he thought not of them, but a quote.

The chipped paint.

But something he loved hadn’t been taken from him, not so much as it seemed absent altogether, he supposed.Or maybe he wasn’t capable of loving at all.

Each passing thought fell.

Every question, every ponder, every thought trickled down him like rain water.Here and gone.

He wondered.

Am I the one taking away something loved?

He wondered.

Will they fall to the floor and notice only chipped paint, too?

He wondered.

If the breeze felt just as cold going up.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s only incredibly vaguely hinted but I decided to post this on my ship acct anyway. The “him” mentioned is UF Papyrus but if you don’t like ships it could just as easily be Gaster.


End file.
